WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN, BITCHALISM?

i cannot even believe it has been so long since i had a post on this. WTF? my cans of forbidden fruit cocktail are all dented and rusty with a mild hint of botchalism. i could not even remember the website link i had to google myself. crazy gay guy? that is more screwed up than DC comics changing wonder woman's outfit.....black leggings? really? that is for lazy housewives or 12 year old girls still rockin' UGG boots. boring and very 4 hawt minutes ago. biker's jacket, too? what the dyke? is she goin' to a melissa e concert. shut it down. bring back that sporty bathsuit filled with supa powers. what have i been doin since i last post. Madrid. Paris. San Francisco. Lake Tahoe, thank you Mrs. Butson. San Francisco part two: the cilantro files. Florida. Flo rida actually is not a bad place to visit family and close friends, but other than that every road looks the same and crack head root beer barrel has a store inside of it? well, that is kind of cute cause it sells ol' school candies. JLC bought some chocolate covered nuts. i like my nuts dipped in kozy shack, by the way. I fell out of love with my so called future cape may husband and best friend and now realize I don't even want to spend the rest of my life in Cape May so why would I ever get involved with someone who lives here. Jersey Shore Boys? Let's keep that shit on MTV. I changed my relationship status more than I put glitter on things. Single. Engaged. Single. Engaged. Single. Married. Widowed. My mother always said I looked amazing in black chanel dresses.
A dishwasher, a landscaper, and a taco truck prep cook all walk into a bar and...........