after i took my nightly sleeping pill which is a creamy buttery fruit filled snack which is only 80 calories. thanks dannon. you shall take this spiritual journey with me as i binge and purge the november "10" i gained while travelling the world being a missionary. take that jolie with your rainbow of fruit flavored babies. it looks like you spilt a bag of skittles out of your purse when i see you with all those kids. i wonder if she has a huge map on her wall and she and mr. pitt play darts and whoever hits the most osbcure run down town where people eat dirt and crickets is where the next "chosen one" will be from. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. over it. fuck and make real babies. next.
actually, it would be great if they made a remake of eight is enough with their family and they try to live in a middle class neighborhood and the real life game of chutes and ladders and how the 6 kids from 6 different tribes have to deal with bitchy soccer moms and vanilla bean kids with shiny convertibles. and when i say eight is enough. i mean it is ENOUGH, peeps.
i have always wanted to have a kid. i sometimes see two waspy gay guys with their ISTROLLER with wireless iphone/ipod attachments and my heart gushes for a little girl named pepper jon cleary or a boy named ian michael james cleary.....then i get a look behind the mosquito netting and realized the got their baby girl, bok choy from the same corporation most kweens get their soy sauce, Kokkiman. SUGAR SNAPS. actually, i will like to order a case of low sodium soy sauce because stephen has high blood pressure from work.
one of the main reasons i am up so early this friday is i am waiting for tickets to go on sale for the freedom concert in jangleville. i am following the voice of franklin graham aka billy graham's son. every since he spoke at george w bush's inauguration and his words about islam struck a chord on my apron strings, i have been follower. i usually like to be a leader but this is one exception when it is ok to be an indian and not a chief. or is king? or it queen? or top? or bottom? i am confused. more coffee, waitress.
during this time of year we need to put on our backpacks and hike god's trail to spread the word of peace and harmony. i know i won't be treking thru pennypack park in PA. A jogger found 5 beheaded goats lined up in a row with their blood drained and their hooves bound together with dental floss. say what? i know that everyone is on the vampire bandwagon with the huge $$$ of the twilight book series, but teenage girls should be running up their parents cell phone bills with texts, stealing booze from their stash, and having unprotected sex. I remember our old neighbors in Kinnelon, NJ were from the Bijago tribe in Africa and ten days before christmas they would slay a goat in the bottom of their empty in ground pool and then make goatinis and shish kabobs before putting tinsel on their 8ft douglas fir. I would whine and whine to JLC about why don't Irish people have any cool traditions? JLC would say shut up and eat your boiled ham and cabbage. I do not heart boiled meat.
it good to open up the lines of communication during this holiday season and we should all try to embrace our faith whatever it may be and try to be a "giver" not a "take take shake n bake" devil worshiper. well, sometimes you have to be a evil bitch. if there is only one tickle me elmo doll on the shelf at walmart. hell ya, push that nappy haired trailer park bitch out of the way. donate one of your coats that was in fashion 5 minutes ago that you bought all banged up on stoli from QVC.
drop off a can of spam at your local battered wives shelter. adopt a three legged cat from the shelter. I think Michael Jackson said it best, "we are the ones who make a brighter day so let's start giving."
Hey, if your too busy making martha stewart christmas tree cupcakes, picking out outfits to go the local christmas parade, and getting all boozey on poinsetta cocktails...then there is always next year!!!
http://www.samaritanspurse.org/index.php/Franklin_Graham/index/
http://www.myfoxphilly.com/myfox/pages/Home/Detail;jsessionid=8E79D090BA49FFA1A543E40D44050798?contentId=8006145&version=6&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=TSTY&pageId=1.1.1&sflg=1
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