Tuesday, December 2, 2008

COINSTAR IS THE ANTI CHRIST


it is official. the country is in a recession. i was just at the acme and i had to buy acme brand bran flakes instead of kashi cereal because i ever since katie couric told me last night it was official i have been spending money like i was collecting unemployment and getting money from my babies daddy. actually, i do sell a bit of crystal meth on the side but that is only to pay for the buses back and forth for my offseason trips. you know how much it cost to go back and forth. shit! it cost as much as a 12 pack of miller chill, a pack of kools, a blunt, and a some holiday chips. don't even get me started on my diaper and formula bills, peeps. So, your hearing it now from the gay horses mouth, i am cutting my spending. i am not buying any jcrew online. i am not buying any extra christmas decorations, i am making a lot of homemade christmas gifts, and i am going to charging half price for blow jobs and rim jobs thru the holidays. so, boys line up and get it while your can. i will be slashing prices on up this shit all december. i will throw in some water sports too and that makes a great stocking stuffer for johnny and timmy. i also will be putting an extra sweater and some heavy socks and keeping the heat a tad lower during these winter months. my blue balls might be a bit more icey but for fuck sake i will have more coin in the bank. why? because we are in a recession and tons of people are out of work. black people are getting killed by holiday shoppers at walmart. excited toy shoppers are getting shot to death at toys r us. WE NEED TO WAKE UP. we need to start smelling the no frills brand coffee. we to cut coupons from the sunday paper. we need to skip a day of taking a shower. buy a bottle stoli and drink in the dark and alone instead of going out with friends and spending 10.oo a pop for a martini.
I feel that this blog is the perfect place to help voice the cries of the american people. the average everyday working people from every main street and dirt road thru out america.
I say now and into 2009, reep what you sow. I actually have to wrap this shit up and pulish my blog because jcrew is having 30 percent off holiday sale and i am so getting this $250.00 bomber hat for this winter season, it is going to look sick with the new lacoste tech line coat i ordered last week. plus, i have to order my xmas card pics from snapfish, i think i lost count at 75 cards. i also want to order my new gucci cologne on sephora.com because they just started carrying it. it is 70. but it is free shipping over 50.00. the icing on the 7 layer recession proof cake is i saw these barack obama plates that you can order from tv and they are only making them for 65 days and then they destroy the mold. they will look amazing on the wood panelling in my den and they are like 19.99 and they throw in a gold plated dollar coin with his mug on it too. So, I think that is not frivalish spending. THAT IS CALLED AN INVESTMENT. because in 4 years i sell that chipped plate at my yard sale for at least a buck fifty..i mean $1.50, beyatches. BUT, until then i will hang that plate next to my rosa parks 4 piece plate set and my honeymooners ones. I love it when uncle sam gives me a huge helpin' of good ol fashion USA apple pie. I will have to puke it up after because I am watching my hourglass figure. But, hey isn't it the thought that counts the most.
P.S. roll your own damn change and stay away from the coinstar machine at your local market

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIWmIJpNnSQ

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