i was going to dedicate this blog to informative things. i had a new tip for ya'll. i was going to start a new recipe of the week thing today and i was going to hand the JLC email of the week over to you on a tarnished silver polish. sorry there are no turks around to polish serving dishes, bitches. hey, that totally busta rhymes. actually, i was going to review some pop culture shit too. however, i was driving along the garden state parkway cyber highway this morning when i missed my exit and then i had to slam on the brakes when my nephew, ryan's 18yr old girlfriend, dana friend requested me on facebook...aka FB. i know your thinking what is a 36yr old gay male doing on FB. well, actually i am really an 18yr old girl in gay years...it is kind of like when you times your dog's age by 7 or is it 8.75? wait, i think that is sales tax? not sure. i tried out for mathletics in junior high, but i got benched and i was not handing out sippie cups of gatorade to the boys all winter. i grew up with a silver spoon in my mouth, not some damn spork.
once again, pictures makes a night where my visual kept fading to black and my audio kept dropping out of my headpiece....CRYSTAL CLEAR IN H.D. pre february 2009 digital cable turf war takeover... Dana has two albums on her FB where there are at least a dozen pictures of me making a sandwich of my 11yr old niece and my sister in law sister's sue aka cougar...i am like the gay lean turkey roll inbetween the acme brand white bread. lots of messy mayo in the middle. was i channelling my trailer park inner peeps...grinding up with family. very chipped beef and toast of me. where is my mullet wig and bad teeth? oh yeah, i left those in the back of the police car on halloween. oh shit. well, by the time you get to album two page 3...i am on the floor with dana attempting to do the worm or some ol' school break dance move....instead i look like i am in the WWF giving her a smackdown. not cute. oh well, at least all the straights had plenty to talk about the next day. Pat's brother is so crazy. I guess what they say is true about the gays there are all about the drama. make mine diet, please. so, i guess the next time i go the gay pride parade in riverdale, nj i better wear my running shoes and a helmet just in case half the town comes chasing after me with baseball bats and fire torches. i just want everyone to know i support navy seals and i understand that they are an endangered species.
P.S. I DO FEED THE ANIMALS AT THE ZOO.
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