BULLETS SOLD SEPARATE

i hate packing to go away. always bring way too many outfits. i try to pick a theme such as heroin chic rugby playa, jcrew on smack, and one of my favorites baby phat newark drug dealer with a splash of upper class irish american brooks brother style...and i have a dance off with packing a mock turtleneck, sports bra, and a fanny pack for those "what if" situations. what happens if i go away and everyone is dressing down in lesbian L.L. bean couture....excuse me taxi driver, can we make a stop at the local army/navy store and home depot. i forgot my flannel coat and my shit kickers..packing to go home can be just as annoying...trying to keep your dirty underwear, smelly socks, and sandy bathing suits away from that silk blouse you got a chance to runway. HINT: save a a plastic shopping bag and pack those dirty knickers and that spam slider stained t shirt in there. actually, you can just mix whites and colors together and wash everything when you get home. i totally understand a fresh bounty fresh start.
i hate to say goodbye. i don't know if it is deep rooted in my bone marrow from my mother dying when i was 9 and my dad starting up a speed dating service at 2 thornton drive looking for candiates for the next "mommy" ok, ladies...line up along the hedges in single file. please have your applications fully completed, resumes and references are smiled upon, and a photo I.D. is required. well, don't get me started on how that all played out. another time. another blog, oh shit. So, I pack abandonment issues in my titanic steamer trunk aka my "BAGGAGE"
so, i try to make it quick during depatures.... a random hug without a full bear hug embrace, a pathetic peck on the cheek, a high speed rant...call ya, text ya, email ya, see ya soon, thanks again, love ya, mean it beyatch.
i sit in front of gate a in the tampa airport. treadin in the riptide wondering what the fuck i am going to do with the next 5 months off...go back to the sand crack of my ass, cape may and pick up my script from the studio. it is so hard playing the gay lead in this dramedy!! an epic tragedy of "sweeps time" proportions...i think my character is in for a real pager turner this season...i wake up out of my booze infested coma and stop blowing smoke screens of a being a "relationship with the man of my dreams"... i adopt the baby i have always craved and become a famous author.
HOLD UP.
MY SHOW DOES NOT GO THAT FAST.
THAT IS GOING TO TAKE AT LEAST TWO SEASONS TO UNFOLD.
actually, there are rumors all over the net that my character gets killed off in the season opener.
oh well...i am at exactly 50 pounds with my suitcase and i am not paying Continental another penny. so, the gun will have to go back into the end table, i will snooze for another 365.. and i will have to remember to not pack that extra pair of shoes next time..gotta bail my flight is boarding.