RECIPE FOR CMC: ONE PART HOT TO TWO PARTS MESS

i am officially a blogger junkie. i am in philly right now stopped at the starbucks on walnut to tap into my mac book to do a quickie before i check into diva headquarters...the marriott hotel. i tried to blog via my iphone on the bus but i could not get into the text part of this shit.there was an asian girl that i had very bad thoughts going on in my lollipop...then she became my bbf because she was into my 4 apple products going on in my greyhound cubby hole.. there must be something in the lo mein lately or the duck sauce has roofies in the orange dye # 5 because once again there is a video out there of me boozed up and dancing. actually, it was at my nephew, ryan's going away to the navy bye bye see ya in 6 yrs or so. i don't know but they had two hoagies that were as long as some guy's...really? actually, they were at least 20 feet. i know i heart that much cold cuts gettin' together for a good cause. GO ARMY. anyway, my dad was macked out in his new 100 % percent cashmere blazer from brooks brothers....i was cummin' in my cashmere/wool cargo pants. my sister in law, cindy, said they were 80's...say what, beyattttch?
anyway, i was drippin' in black shirt. black tie. black shirt. everyone is fricking jeans and no frills vacation spot t shirt. like port jervis and shit with fish and wilderness scenes...i ran into some random peeps from my old thornton drive days..i have not seen them in about 30 years. i miss living in north haledon. fooling around in the red barn behind steven's house with the boys. marc and gary too. oh shit. there were a lot of gays up on that block. i actually don't think i have ever told anyone that shit. oooops..i just let the labadoodle out of my purse....oh shit..i am spitting up pearls and cum. so actually, i hit the card table bar and jackie daniels was perched there waving to me...meanwhile, back on the roof of the riverdale civic center...in 3 hours i was wearing a plastic navy hat, having my 11 year niece limewire madonna....then i was dancing to 4 minutes with my nephew's friends tick tock tick tock...ONE PART HOT. TWO PART MESS. one of the 18yr old boys had the sickiest body. i wasn't seeing it and was instant oatmeal a fucking daddy at 37. really, i used to be a twinkie boy chicken...actually, i look good for my age. i look young. actually, i just bought $110 an oz face serum. so that take that fuckin tyra. i am sick of being a supermodel. i am a big a fish in a small pond and i want to get off this merry go around..and i want to be playing with steven, marc, and gary in the sandbox on thorton drive.
p.s. sorry mom i think i am going to hell. i will send a postcard i promise.